Potlucks & Discussions

BROWN BAG DISCUSSION SERIES
Evening programs are difficult for the many members of our community who have long commutes, or who need to swing by childcare programs or rush off to their children's after school programs. So in lieu of some potluck suppers, some programs will take place during the day, with time dedicated entirely to the discussion topic. Participants are encouraged to bring their lunches. For more information about any potluck supper or brown bag discussion, or to suggest a program, please contact Ruth Yanai (rdyanai@syr.edu) or Janine DeBaise (jmdebais@esf.edu ).

POTLUCK SUPPER SERIES
These social events encourage us to get out of our rooms, labs, offices, and classrooms to meet with other women for good food and fellowship. As we understand you have other things to do, the agenda for evening potlucks is generally "Gather at 5:30, eat at 6, program at 6:30, and on your way by 7:30", although we may start earlier or later, as indicated below. Participants are asked to contribute a dish to pass (such as a salad, main dish, dessert, bread, chips, or cheese and crackers), or $3 for the increasingly popular "Pizza Fund." Note about the pizza fund: If Janine happens to be coming from off campus, the "pizza" will be really be vegan friendly Chinese food that she picks up en route; if she will already be on campus, than we order something to be delivered--suggestions welcome! For more information about any potluck supper or brown bag discussion, or to suggest a program, please contact Ruth Yanai (rdyanai@syr.edu) or Janine DeBaise (jmdebais@esf.edu ).

Dr. Bell “Step(ped) through hints on how to be strategic; how to build the record you need to be an academic scientist.” The time between post-doc and tenure sets the stage. If you have a plan, you are likely to do better (measures used: submit papers and grant applications at a higher rate, be first author more frequently) and be more satisfied. Productivity is THE measure of how good you are, with # of pubs is the most common metric Be able to say what you have contributed, and have a “home run”—an important discovery or advance. There is a hierarchy of value associated with scientific work: Theoretical>experimental>technological breakthroughs. Distinguish yourself from your PhD advisor, but if the relationship is good, keep working together. Pick projects that can be published and funded. Collaborate. Travel to meetings If you can’t present, see about running a workshop there, or at home institution. Ideal: prestigious PhD program and post-doc, work assignment with opportunities for research, eminent mentor, early publishing, no career interruptions (there are some gendered differences). Align interests with rewards; make sure what you do counts. More comprehensive notes.

Dr. Sue Senecah, Faculty of Environmental Studies, examined the history of "Tech-Reg" decision making nvite, Inform, Ignore), and contrasted it with the more collaborative approaches to problem solving that encourage systems thinking and respect different ways of knowing (traditional as well as scientific). The former assumes linear cause and effect; the later recognizes that much conflict arises from real or perceived obstacles to participation, and that solutions come from building a trusting relationship. Dr. Senecah notes that trust does not denote liking, but r that other party is true to his or her word. Out of this discussion came a realization of participants that traditional ways of knowing uses as much (if not more) listening as well as talking, which means that there may be "uncomfortable" silences as each party absorbs the others words.

Dr. Diane Kuehn looked at the factor's in people's lives that impacted their participation in sport fishing. She wanted to know why fishing has declined over the last decade, and why only 12-14% of those that fish are women. The results of her two-part surveys indicate that there is a significant difference in the starting age of anglers: males had started at an average age of 7, and all started prior to adulthood; females had started at an average age of 10, and 22% had been introduced to the sport as adults. Most had learned from their fathers; the adult women were introduced by their partners or spouses. Grandfathers and uncles were more likely to teach nephews and grandsons than nieces and granddaughters.

Kuehn also looked at frequency and opportunity to fish. In all age groups, females fished less frequently. Their activity was influenced by the support of other family members. Males, on the other hand, were influenced more by their commitment to the sport. Socialization during the activity was important to both genders during adolescence, and fishing as a family tradition was very important to girls. Women were much more focuses on the social aspect of fishing. While this can be important to men, too, they also cited the sport of it, and men were much more likely to fish by themselves.

Kuehn then inquired of the participants about their favorite outdoor activities, why they enjoy them, and who indoctrinated them.

What changes would be needed in current structures of social power to support sustainable development? What alternatives can we learn from women and nature? Dr. Valerie Luzadis shared her thesis that: the current dominate structures of social power limit our ability to live sustainable with nature and among ourselves. Dr. Luzadis briefly discussed the difference between "power over" and "power to do", and provided additional background information that has shaped her thinking on the subject prior to inviting responses (and there were many!) from the participants. Participants added that although hierarchies are not necessarily bad, but they are often too rigid to be effective, and by relying on "majority rules" rather than consensus, non-majority members are often overlooked. Other participants related social levels to trophic levels, and considered the impact of reciprocity and co-evolution of members, as well as the opportunities presented by gaps in biological systems.

Dr. Robin Kimmerer (EFB) was the featured speaker at ESA's 2005 Diversity in Ecology Luncheon. She shared portions of her presentation and facilitated a discussion on why science institutions should change to take advantage of everyone's contributions, including those bestowed by membership in one or more cultural group, rather than continue to try to "fix" students into a one-size fits all mold. Particularly striking were her own revelation that she almost didn't become an ecologist, her realization about 4 years into her first academic appointment that traditional knowledge could indeed by taught alongside the processes of botany, and true stories of students "with some otherness about them" that encountered obstacles related to culture, rather than their ability to "do science." She reminded us that we each have gifts and responsibly to bring them to the table, sort of like a potluck supper. For a potluck supper to work, each person must bring a contribution, but also partake of everyone else's. "But imagine that you have brought your specialty, and it is both delicious and nutritious, but no one will taste it. Your dish keeps getting pushed farther and farther back on the table. What would you do? Pretend that you don't like it either? Leave without mention? or resolve that next time, you will bring macaroni and cheese, just like everyone else?"

In the conversation that ensured, we noted that we don't want to rid the table of the mac and cheese, but that those who take comfort in it might enjoy expanding their palates to appreciate the other flavors and textures offered at the table. If this seems too drastic a step, it may help to remember that often the same basic ingredients are used, but combined in different ways. "After all, it's all science."

Following her campus-wide lecture on Biomimicking: engineering design from Natural Structures, Dr. Lorna Gibson joined us for a discussion of the infamous climate for women at MIT. Her perception is that things have outwardly improved, but one trend that remains concerns her: MIT's tendency to hire their own graduates appears to extend only to men. Because these new hires already have mentoring relationships among the faculty, often continue on the same research projects, and know where to go for further assistance, they have a great advantage over hires from outside the institution. Since women faculty almost exclusively come from elsewhere, they start at a disadvantage, and because disadvantages accumulate (see seminar syllabi for readings on the subject), it is very difficult to overcome. In addition, these younger men seem to have adopted not only the methods and styles of their mentors, but also their prejudices. With the biases entrenched in the faculties, hopes that the climate would improve with the eventual retirement of the old guard seem overly optimistic.

After a round of self-esteem exercises on our own, Vera House, Inc. co-exective director Randi Bregman joined the Baobab Society and Women's Caucus to answer questions about recognizing domestic abuse, and helping our friends and families find the sense of worth and safety they deserve.

People stay in abusive relationships for lots of reasons, including fear of the unknown and some comfort with the familiar (the devil you know....). Often, they "want the relationship to continue, but the abuse to end." The best thing that we can do for those we know are at risk: be good supportive listeners and keep at it. Model a concerned relationship. It's a big decision about whether or not to involve authorities--you might fear reprisal, or fear that this act might offend the person you are trying to protect. "Do not put yourself at risk by trying to intervene directly." Direct them to local resources: locally, Vera House and the Rape Crisis center have recently merged (Vera House, Inc) to provide comprehensive assistance, 24/7. Sadly, 70% of the clients of the Rape Crisis Center are children.

When are children at risk? It used to be that they were only considered to be in harm's way when abuse was directed at them. The current thinking has evolved, however, to recognize that it isn't good for their emotional and long-term well being to repeatedly witness such acts. Teachers and medical professionals are mandatory reporters if they suspect a child is in any danger.

We also asked about the sensitivity of police when someone has been raped, should the initial response be to call the police? No--first go to the hospital to 1. tend to physical injuries 2. collect evidence and 3. talk to an advocate who can advise and notify authorities if victim chooses to do so.

We came to this conclusion as well: Reduce your gift giving obligations, and select or make "cheap but meaningful" gifts for those you choose to give to. Consumable gifts are wonderful--homemade or purchased. You don't need to find a place for them, they fit people of almost every size, and best of all, require no dusting!

I give my nieces and nephews inexpensive bound unlined books with crayons, colored pencils, or paints, depending on their ages--I often personalize the covers so they can tell them apart. Janine's children and their cousins prepare and videotape a skit every year as a gift to their parents and grandparents--2 years ago, inspired by the TLC program "While you were out" they gathered to redecorate their grandparents enclosed back porch and videotaped the event. Its become a holiday tradition that they watch some of the older tapes as well as the new and admire how the kids have grown. Children also give the priceless gift of chore coupons. Grandparents that are reluctant to ask for help find it easier to cash them in for various projects around the house. One Sharon's large immediate family selects names from a hat, so each person is responsible for only one gift; the other Sharon's immediate family makes donations in each other's name to favorite charities. They distribute the names of their top three choices, and siblings choose amongst the three. She notes that the contributions can add up, but they significantly reduce the stress of selecting just the right thing. And there really is no shame in asking: my father-in-law distributes his letter to Santa with a list of inexpensive tools that he could use if received.

Further gift thoughts from Jo Anne:

A "muchness" of something is impressive and often isn't expensive. My mother-in-law mentioned recently that she wanted to replace her spices, which pre-dated the move to her current apt. 5 years ago. A trip to Northway Discount Foods and a dollar store (including a buck for a wastebasket to pack them in) did the trick for her recent birthday, and she was delighted.

In past years, I've given her assortments of canned soups (upscale brands or unusual flavors she probably would never buy for herself), a variety of flavors of spaghetti sauce and different flavors/shapes of pasta, a basket of one-pot packs of flavored coffee, etc. (Can you tell I hate malls?? I can do most of my shopping at the grocery store!) Gift shops are a great place to get ideas for basket assortments--then look at the price tags and buy your own goodies! Assortments are easy to replicate too, if you need a lot of presents--gift bags are the easiest way to stuff them, if you're arrangement-impaired like me.

For elderly recipients, especially, consumables (edible or otherwise) are often better than "stuff." When we cleaned out my mother's house, we found stacks of gift sweaters, bathrobes, jewelry, etc., still in their boxes. On the other hand, the gallon of her favorite laundry detergent (of which she usually bought the smallest size) I gave her for her birthday was gone! Stamps (especially in a theme geared to the recipient), phone cards, gas gift cards, gift certificates to restaurants or fast-food places--you're giving someone convenience, and you don't have to wrestle with wrapping paper--just stick them into cards!

And a timely reminder from the Employee Assistance Program (12/15/2006):

It’s that time of year again – when we have to give ourselves permission to be imperfect – in advance. We aren’t going to have the Better Homes & Gardens Christmas no matter how hard we try – so let’s accept it right now and not feel guilty of “Failing” later on.

Some suggestions for a hassle-free holiday season:

1. Lower your expectations. Learn to live and laugh with broken cookies, lopsided trees and cards received that weren’t sent.

2. Lower your housekeeping standards. Closets exist to hide clutter replaced by seasonal paraphernalia. Let’s use them. Learn to live with the messier bathrooms that accompany returning college students and visiting family.

3. Do away with money worries. Rule of thumb: either enjoy spending it or don’t spend it. Don’t fall into that trap of over-spending and then resenting it.

4. Don’t worry about spending the exact amount on every child. They only complain when they sense you’re feeling guilty. If they do complain, give them ‘The Look”. If that doesn’t work, give them the “The Talk” about giving.

5. Don’t – repeat – DON’T feel guilty about not having a gift for an unexpected giver. Send them a Valentine cake.

6. Eat what you cook or don’t cook it. Why make others feel guilty by baking rich foods and then watching them with incriminating eyes as they enjoy it while you munch celery? If you’re going to feel guilty because of holiday eating, go ahead and eat because you’re going to feel guilty anyway.

7. Enjoy – don’t endure – the holidays. Anything that infringes on enjoyment should be questioned. Pray, laugh, and share good times together – including memories of pleasant hassle-free time in the family.

EAP Committee: Leslie Rutknowski (Coordinator), Tom Slocum (Chair), Mark Hill, Teri, Frese,Linda Stubbs, Dave Soderberg, Barb Nelson,Shirley Wilbur, Al Wilczek, Pete DeMola

Balancing work and… (Social life, family, personal time, sleep….). October 26, 2004.

Undergrads, graduate students, faculty and staff met over dinner to discuss what we'd like to spend more time on, less time on, and any suggestions we have that have helped us do so. Here are a sampling (not necessarily in the order that they were discussed):

1. Prioritize, and lower your standards on items that don't really matter (like the punctuation in this email!)

2. Cultivate good relationships with the office people, and those in the know in the dining halls. They are the ones who know procedures, shortcuts, how to process which paperwork and in what order it needs to be done. And, in an emergency, they are the ones who know how to bail you out.

3. Try to set aside some cookies in the freezer--then you can bring a variety the next time you need to bring something somewhere.

4. Laundry is overrated--if its not really dirty, don't wash it yet. But find a way to keep it out of the clean pile so it doesn't get forgotten.

5. If you don't know where to go, ask someone rather than getting bogged down with it.

6. Don't feel bad about not going to the gym when you'd really rather be getting your exercise out of doors.

7. Find people to do things with. Our little lists made us realize most of us want to be more physically active, several would like to dance more, and there is an African Dance class on Wednesdays at the Westcott community Center. This kind of builds on a pre-dinner discussion: some of us knit, others would like to learn--we foresee some lessons in the future.

8. Pleasure reading: Book clubs have merit, but require you to have read a specific book or portion thereof in a specific amount of time. Instead, get recommendations of books that friends have enjoyed, and put aside 15-20 minutes at the end of the day.

9. Find a (or several) delivery place. Because so many of us are already overtasked, we planned that those who could would bring something to contribute, and those that couldn't would bring a few dollars. We pooled the funds and ended up with an almost complete meal, and some nice discussion with some folks we wouldn't otherwise have had the opportunity to meet.

We did get a little off the track of the balancing theme later in the discussion, but since some of us wanted to spend more time with friends old and new, maybe that's not such a bad thing.

This potluck supper was coordinated by the Graduate Student Association and the ESF Women’s Caucus.

Game night! November 19, 2003

Are board games gender neutral? We divied up a pack of trivia cards from a popular board game, and based on first impression of the question and answer, divided them into piles: feminine, masculine, neither, need closer look. We discussed the final category, and added these cards to the rest of the piles. The masculine pile was the largest at the end of the evening.

Support for working Families, October 23, 2003.

Imagine what you could do if you had 9 more weeks a year to do what you wanted/needed to do. Take Back Your Time Day is "a nationwide initiative to challenge the epidemic of overwork, over-scheduling and time famine that now threatens our health, our families and relationships, our communities and our environment." The date is nine weeks before the end of the year, representing the 360 hours more each year that workers in the U.S. put in on average than Western Europeans do. Nine weeks! This is part of campus Take Back your Time Day Teach-in. Visit www.timeday.org to hear about the National effort. For more information, read www.prospect.org/print/v12/1/gornick-j.html.

Balancing work and family, September 30, 2003

Ironically, family issues kept a number of interested parties away last night, so I have summarized our discussion. and have provided a preview of the October program (Thurs. Oct. 23, 5-7 pm, Nifkin Lounge, family friendly potluck supper!)

So, what does it take to balance work and family? Participants reported: organization, flexible scheduling, a sense of humor, family planning, reliable child care, a supportive partner, and good friends or family with whom you can share some adult conversation while the kids play (which we witnessed first hand, as our three youngest participants alternately colored quietly and ran laps around the Lounge!). We also noted the trend of parents waiting longer to start families, both here and abroad, and touched on the continuing trend of teen parents, and speculated on the class and educational differences between the two groups.

The discussion focused most heavily on social support of childrearing, which is much advanced in Scandinavian countries, just starting in Korea where birth rates have been declining, and actually somewhat ahead of the US. The Korean system permits a small stipend for parental leave during the first year (currently about 20% of the average salary); only 78 dads took advantage of the program last year while thousands of moms used their maternity leave. The next version of this policy looks toward making the leave a percentage of income rather than a flat rate. In the US, the leave permitted by the Family Leave Act is unpaid, and thus is only really available to those of higher income. European models are far more family-friendly and either support parental (maternal or paternal, often the family's decision) care for children during their first year or longer or adequately funded daycare facilities until children reach school-age.

We'd like to thank Heejae Kim, who took the time to look up the statistics of the new Korean programs and the Sadler Memorial Garden Committee for letting us scavenge for produce for the potluck. As a result of your generosity and JoAnne Ellis's creativity, we enjoyed ratatouille and a platter of delicious sweet peppers and beans. Cooperation in action--how fitting for a balancing themed semester!